I AM MORE

For

such a 

time as

this...

In the silence of my home, I feel the rush of thoughts and hear the pounding in my head, a pounding most like the rhythm of my heart. I have suffered sufficiently from the abuse of others and as every abusive scenario sweeps across the film strip of my memory, I grow in indignation and resentment initially. I think of how every time I have allowed myself to indulge in thoughts of an ending as a reaction to all who have implied through action or words that I'm not good enough, crazy, or lacking somehow. But then  thump thump. Thump thump, the beat of my heart is still heard for I am still here. I still exist. 

And the thing is...I am more than good enough. I am better than you imagined. I am more than you can possibly handle. I am emotionally charged in world that is numb with stuff...shitty stuff. If I was begging on the streets, I could handle it like a queen. If I was sitting on a throne of power, I'd serve like a pauper. I am a good person fashioned "for a time such as this..." To overcome the things you thought would leave me trembling at the bottom of a dark pit. You and these dark words are nothing more than the stepping stones to my greatness...my ultimate potential.

For I am more than this. More than the shell that is my body. I am soulful. I am imaginative. I am creative, thoughtful, and compassionate. I have passion for the things that stir my heart and mind. I am diligent and hard working. I am enduring the very worst of it all to have the very best of it all. I persevere through the storms and hold onto the peace that darkness tries to snatch away. 

I am more. And you can never know how much more because, my dear, you fear all that I could be and all that I am because you....you don't know how good you are. You are more but only when you realize it. 

For such a time as this...I was created and born and I exist to be more.