Dante's Inferno

I fell for a man once. The most brilliant man. Superman handsome who spoke as if he bled poetry. His voice and his words blending like velvet cake and cream cheese, silky and soothing with a sweetness that could only be described as divine. He made me want to try to live life more aggressively. He stimulated my mind in the way sex stimulates some men into action. I craved his words, so intelligent and filled with adventure and mystery.

He was inquisitive, charming, thrilling, and I was sucked into a world that could only exist in my wildest dreams. Our conversations were endless, sleepless, and riveting. In all my life I'd never met someone who I could share all the little dreams and wishes and fantasies in my mind, but more than that, he inspired and encouraged me to create more fantasies and adventures. While in his company, I could feel all the words, all the emotion, all the creativity that had been locked up for so long flow like ocean waves, crashing on the edge of my conscious. 

He had the most exquisite mind, yet he was boyish in his excitement over new discoveries, new theories, and gummy treats. The kicker, the bonus, the extra that brought me down? He not only knew of Yanni (my most favorite composer in the world) but he had Yanni's DVDs!!! *Long, high-pitched squeal**** WHAT?!? Who was this man? We called him Mr. Physics or Superman--he had the hair including that adorable little curl down his forehead. I could be silly and he encouraged and joined in so that I never felt uncomfortable or embarrassed. 

I lost him though. I let my doubts and insecurities get in the way of something very genuine. I don't know where he is now but I won't forget how courageous I felt being with him. Or how beautifully he treated me. I'd forgotten about how wonderful I felt about myself. And I remember now that I deserve that kind of man in my life. 

I stumbled across a voicemail he left me once upon a time long, long ago. In the midst of an ugly, undeserved break up this voicemail pops up out of the blue; and I'm reminded I can do so much better and I have muchness (greatness) in me that a genuine person can value, understand, and truly love. His mom even told me when I met her that I had strength. I believed her then; I believe her now. 

Dante, I watched you fight through purgatory and regain your strength with superhero powers that I always believed you had. You were and are still an inspiration to me. Wherever you are, I hope you're well and happy. I thank the Universe for allowing you to touch my world even if it was short lived. It showed me the kind of woman I want to be and can be.