This Sucks Balls

I try so hard to be understanding. I try so damn hard to be lenient and forgiving. It's time to stop going out of my way to make everyone else feel comfortable only to be shit on afterwards. I'm tired of my mistakes and flaws outweighing what makes me a good person. I'm tired of caring about people who don't give a damn about me.

I wish I could erase all the emotion I invested in people who weren't good for me. I've left behind a piece of me that can't ever be recovered. I opened my mouth, opened my secrets, opened my soul and part of my heart only to find myself sitting here feeling abandoned, stupid, and bamboozled.

It is time to come to terms with the fact that my weirdness and "crazy" will never be acceptable and good enough for any man. And that's going to have to be okay because I never want to feel this way again. I keep saying that, yeah? Am I going to really learn? I hope so. I damn well hope so.